My first medical marijuana purchase in the “Show-Me” state of Missouri was…bitter sweet.

My younger self was geeked at the idea of walking into a store to legally purchase weed. At the same time, a sobering thought lingered in the back of my mind: the states failure to randomly and fairly issue dispensary-license bids resulted in only two of the 192 licenses going to Black-owned dispensaries.

And those two dispensaries are actually owned by a single Black person.

And that single Black person is Larry Hughes.

A retired NBA player [and beloved St. Louis native].

While that is still something to be celebrated, it is also a frightening reminder of where our country is mentally, as well as the harsh reality of equity and justice for Black people within the cannabis industry.

I could go on about the colonization of the legacy market, but you can began to imagine how I feel morally conflicted making a purchase from a dispensary - especially in my hometown.

Nonetheless, when multi-award winning Doctor of Pharmacy, and Feel State Florissant’s Clinical Pharmacist, Dr. Bex, invited me to their grand opening, I had to oblige. She helped me navigate my medical card application process through the [already seamless] company’s program / partnership with Elevate Holistics - so I was already familiar with the brand, and impressed by their mission and customer service.

I saw the block party as an opportunity to gain further insight into how dispensaries, Feel State in particular, saw themselves in the community.

The event was held from 10am-7pm, and I showed up around noon as some of the vendors were still setting up. To my delight, I happened to know one of them, Tara of Appletree Chic. After chatting with her for a while, Emily Braun, one of the dispensaries managers, came to introduce herself and told us all about the specials they were having that day: 20% off your purchase, and a swag bag containing a stash jar; a lighter; a rolling tray; a mask; and a personal guidebook to help curate your cannabis experience - because it is indeed different for all of us. Needless to say, my next stop was inside of the dispensary.

Upon entering their building, you’re greeted by someone at the front desk who checks your ID and medical card. If there isn’t a wait, you skip the waiting room (which looks very similar to the waiting room at a doctors office…only much cooler) and proceed through a locked door and into the dispensary to make your purchase.

Although the selection was scarce, they had amazing options of flower, edibles and tinctures to choose from, and everyone inside of the dispensary was knowledgeable and accommodating.

I ultimately decided to stick with flower, and got an eighth of Bubba Fett, which I was told is a client favorite.

Once I made my purchase, my budtender hooked me up with a swag bag and walked me to another locked door, which led to the exit.

And just like that, I made my first medical marijuana purchase.

Already feeling a sense of belonging, I made my rounds to a few of the other vendors which included, Elite Home Growers Academy - where I got some amazing tips on how to begin cultivating at home; Natalie’s Cakes & More; Proper Cannabis; Healing Heart; Retro Active; Clovr; BeLeaf, and Cannabis Care Team.

I’m all about vibes, and despite the political climate, as well as the sweltering heat that day, the vibe was good. Everyone was easygoing, and otherwise happy to be in an environment where we could freely discuss cannabis and it’s many applications. I personally felt comfortable making a purchase with Feel State because I felt an honest attempt at reaching back into the community at large.

Oh, and whoever said the medical cannabis here is weak…lied.